1. Becoming more of a faggot.
2. THE big phone call (the big cum blast)
3. Thinking about Tyler

• Permission to cum
• Permission to talk to certain guys and how to deal with them
• How to stop stroking especially when I’m not coming 
• Kierstan has all power but I have none 
• Permission to buy certain recordings
• How other see me (ppl see a homo/faggot)
• Deepening the gay dick ritual, one piece at a time
• furthering counseling/journaling
• more specif work on “erotic cognitive dissonance (fear vs desire): the subatomic power of emotional sadomasochism”; authority/vulnerability; consensual/non-consent
• findom (if only a little)
• Transcribe ALL of Tara’s gaydick recording.
• Rules about calling Kiersten and not calling Kiersten and related rewards and punishments
• Safe words, or how to step out of our roles and make adjustments
• Reading my letter to Tara and getting Kiersten’s approval. Likewise, reading transcript of my conversation with Clarissa and discussing with Kiersten anything important that comes out of that
• rules of interaction with Kiersten
• principal gaydick hypno trigger
• the ritual
• my history
• my boyfriends
• g-hotline
• coming problem
• building deeper, more strictly-defined mind control/hypno triggers/boundaries
• masturbating without purpose

how do i arrange and think about these two things:

erotic cognitive dissonance: the subatomic power of emotional sadomasochism, (i.e., emotional SM leads to cognitive dissonance)

fear / desire = erotic cognitive dissonance + emotional sadomasochism, (i.e., the cognitive dissonance combined with the emotional sadomasochism creates the fear/desire inner conflict)